I had to rub and adjust my eyes once I realized this is the 20th Mother’s Day without my mother, Carina M Bayne. Regardless, I still wish y’all a Happy Mother’s Day 2017!
What can I write about my mother that I loved dearly, that I haven’t written already? The answer is simple: plenty.
Despite my experience with my own mother, and with other mothers, I still don’t quite understand the depth of selflessness and ready sacrifice that they have for their children. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that love. It’s just I don’t think without being a mother myself (considering I’m a guy’s guy that’s not gonna ever happen) I’ll fathom the depths of this.
Of course, everyone of y’all is gonna post that their mother was the greatest. And frankly, you should! You should honor the person that gave you life on this spinning ball of water and dirt. In her eyes, you are her greatest accomplishment / accomplishments (if more than one child)
The following 3 part series is the abbreviated story of my mom, Carina Muldez Bayne. My mother was brave. The bravest person I know. And here’s why …
Part I: The Beginning
You see, my mother broke from tradition. She was married before she met my Dad. In fact, she had a child with this man. Yes, my half-brother Sonny is still out there. Divorce is not legal in the Philippines which is largely Catholic.
The first real encounter between Dad and Mom was unique, too. I don’t know if it’s the truth or not, but here’s how my Dad told me (or some version of this)
He was on shore-leave from the USS Kansas City that was stationed at Subic Bay US Naval Base. Over the days he would #chillax on the back porch, and every day a long-haired Filipina (Mom) would hang the laundry out to dry. Well the fashion of the 70’s was short skirts, and for the Philippines it’s hot by anyone’s standards.
One afternoon Mom caught him spying her which she took issue with. She calmly walked back inside the house again. Dad’s buddy answered a knock at the door. He announced for Dad to come to the door as there was a woman there to address him.
There she stood in the threshold with the laundry basket in her arms and a furious look on her face. She asked if he was looking at her, checking her out. He answered honestly with a yes. Then she punched him, knocking him down to the floor, and flung the basket onto of the heap of my Dad!
When he came to from the punch-out, he asked out on a date. Incredibly, she said yes.
That night she had 3 Harvey Wallbangers out of pineapple husks which were very potent to a 5’1″ woman that barely weighed over a 100lbs. He was a gentleman, and brought her back without harm.
His leave was over, as it was the Vietnam War. He reached out to her asking her to write letters. They wrote each other letters for well over a year.
He then asked her parents for her hand in marriage. From what Dad said, it was begrudging acceptance. They held a traditional ceremony complete with the typical items such as the cord. You can read it here, as I’ll spare the details.
Finally, she agreed to leave the Philippines, her family, friends, and everything she knew, to join her husband in the United States. Yes, this small village girl made the brave move to be with her husband.
I sat there listening to my Mom’s bravery with my mouth agape.
As you can imagine, her friends and family warned her that he’ll leave her broke and destitute on the streets of America once he was done with her. And of course, his friends told him she’s using him for the green card and would divorce him as soon as she was a citizen.
You see from the onset, they were projected to not make it, per se. And they almost didn’t!
Stay tuned for the next installment. Until then, be good like you should and if you can’t be good, be good at what you do!
Mic drop *bOoM*