So, my manager and friend, Mari, managed to lock herself out of her house on the day of a gig. A gig, she and I, were working together for the first time in a long time. It reminded me a “getting locked out of your house” story that wasn’t my doing.
When my sister isn’t living with me, she usually finds trouble at some point. And I mean big trouble. Then she’ll call me. When I answer, her greeting is the tell-tale sign that’s she’s in trouble: “Big brother, are you sitting down?”
At the moment of the call, so many years ago, I wasn’t, but I quickly made myself to a sitting position. “I am,” I replied grimly.
She blurted out, “Pumpkin (her cat) locked me out of the house!”
My eyes furrowed, “But you called me from Dad’s home phone. So you’re not trapped outside of your house is not a possibility at this point.”
“True. I’m in the house now, but it took me a few tries to get in. Are you busy? Can you please just come over?” she pleaded with me.
Getting Locked Out of Your House!
The act itself isn’t difficult. Getting back IN is another story, and that’s where mine continues. I drove to Charrina with my wife. I had no idea what I was walking into, but knew deep-down it was gonna be a mess. You see, our Dad was out of country in the Philippines and was due back the next day. My sister, Charrina, was worried that Dad would be upset with all that she did to get inside the house and wanted my help repairing it.
I sat her down so I can hear the entire story from start to finish to determine what exactly happened. The following is one way of getting locked out of your house.
Charrina checked the mail outside in the early morning, but kept the door cracked open as to not lock herself out. The door automatically locks once shut. According to her, Pumpkin liked pushing doors closed such as the front door. The door latched closed once her cat’s paw put enough weight on it.
She was doomed. There she was locked out of the house in last night’s pajamas and nothing else. Again according to her, she entered the trailer that my Dad had parked outside the house. Perhaps an extra key would be in the drawers. As I listened intently, I agreed that was a solid call. She couldn’t locate it, but she did find a butter knife.
Then she proceeded to pick the lock with said knife. I grew concerned as I know she doesn’t know how to pick locks, let alone without the proper tools. She eventually broke off the tip of the knife inside the lock.
Aiight, I thought. Gonna have to replace that.
She proceeded to panic. She thought she could bust off the doorknob with a brick. She selected a good one, raised it high over her head with both hands and SMASHED IT. She repeated her action; wham, wham, wham.
Charrina managed to dent the top of it, and bend it beyond repair. Remember it was already jacked up from the butter knife.
She told me getting locked out of your house is one of her worst experiences in life. She sat on the doorstep, thinking of a way to break in. The word “break” motivated her to find a window, break it, and then crawl through. Again, a fair assessment and sound decision. Next, she told which window she selected.
That’s when I no longer agreed.
She said she picked Dad’s Den big double-paned window. I shook my head in disappointment. There’s a smaller window right next to it, that would be easy enough to crawl in through after sacrificing it. Well, she wasn’t successful. She chucked the brick at the center of the window, and it ricocheted back at her and damn near hit her in the head. It landed near the tool shed.
That inspired her to enter tool shed, and find a crowbar.
At this point, I’m thinking at least my sister has NO FUTURE in burglary with this skill set. I had to ask, “Charrina. Why didn’t you contact any of the neighbors? I realize y’all don’t cooperate but there’s compassion in most people.”
“Everyone left for work but me!” she bemoaned. Aiight, fair enough.
She continued to recount her story. She used the crowbar to pry open and through the sliding glass door mechanism. It was opened ever so slightly that she could remove the stick in the track and gain entry.
Ok, I’ve gotta replace either the entire sliding glass door or just the lock after my sister got locked out of her house. I walked back to the living room where I knew it was. I spotted it right away, as it was mangled beyond recognition and barely hanging on to the door. Sweet Jesus. The nearest home improvement store is Home Depot. We all piled into a car to go shopping.
My sister also didn’t have the money for repairs, so I picked up the tab: one new door knob, and one sliding glass door locking mechanism. She wanted to help since this was her doing and she was unable to help pay. I thought, Ok, that’s cool.
I made a plan once we returned. The installation direction were not very clear for the sliding glass door but were detailed for the door knob. I sat down Charrina at the front door while I worked at the sliding glass door across the house.
I grumbled to myself, I’m gonna do everything in my power of not getting locked out of my house when I return. I completed my task, so I walked over to check on Charrina’s progress. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
She had managed to remove the damaged doorknob, open the new door knob, and strewn and mix the old parts with new parts on the ground. I lost my mind, as my patience was exhausted, “WHAT DID YOU DO?”
She looked up to my face to see one particular vein bulging with blood, especially when I’ve aggravated. My wife realizing that my sister has thoroughly pissed me off, jumped in to her rescue. She smiles, “Hey Los, we’re gonna leave to get some food for all of us. Do you need anything from us while we’re out.”
I stared down at the craptastic mess on the floor. “Just leave. Leave now,” as I outstretched my arm and finger to point towards her car through the open door. Charrina and Charlene quietly and quickly scampered away. They knew I was sideways.
After I calmed myself down, I got to work. I managed to get the doorknob installed properly by the time they returned with food that I desperately needed because I realized I was #hangry. We cleaned up the house.
I requested my sister to hold out her hand.
She hesitated, but complied. I lightly dropped the new keys into her hand. “There. You get to explain to Dad why he has new keys to the house. I’m hanging onto the extra set, so if you get locked out again – you call me first. Capice?”
She nodded her head sheepishly. “Sorry, big brother. But thank you so much for the help.” We hugged before I bounced.
Dad calls me a day after his return. “Sonny boy, hey there. Charrina explained what happened while I was gone. Thank you so much, but I have a question for you.” Um, oh no. Here’s the coup de grace … “Why did you find the extra locks and doorknobs I have in plastic bins with it labeled like that in the garage? It would’ve made your life easier.”
I grumbled to myself, if I knew that, then WHY would I go to Home Depot? “I didn’t realize you were prepared for getting locked out of your house. My mistake. Have a good day, Dad.” I gently hung up the phone before I said anything further.
So Spaceship Earth, do you have a similar story for us? Let us know in the comments below, or however you feel comfortable contacting us! As always, be good like you should, and if you can’t be good, be good at what you do!
Mic drop *bOoM*