My Bane of Bumbershoot

It’s my bane of Bumbershoot.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I loved Bumbershoot. I mean I would be so feverish for new music that I would eagerly anticipate the lineup announcement only to know which band(s) / musician(s) to scour the interwebs for! And it was all because of a girl. And like ANY story worth telling it’s about a girl…

#Bumbershoot is a synonym for umbrella. So when I deployed my golf umbrella to exit the #SapphireSled the other day, my mind was flooded with memories I’ve suppressed. If memory serves, it started in 2009. The girl, aka #MusicalMuse asked me about my live music history. I was recently outta a divorce so I quipped my ex-wife literally hates music yet I loved it. Therefore my live music history was tragic to say the least. So she invited me to rock with her at #Bumbershoot – I’ve never been and I gladly accepted!

Bane of Bumbershoot — Decisions, decisions

Not gonna lie, I was crushing on the girl so the acceptance was made more with my heart than mind. I don’t regret it, really, either then or looking back at it now.

The lineup was fantastic that year!

Line-up

Katy Perry, Black Eyed Peas, Jason Mraz ,Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Modest Mouse, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Franz Ferdinand, The All-American Rejects, Wale, Kasabian, Cold War Kids, Metric, Sheryl Crow, Matt and Kim, Janelle Monáe, De La Soul, Michael Franti & Spearhead

#MusicalMuse took pity on me so that pretty much meant I had carte blanche for the weekend. And I do mean, blank check. The first order of business was deciding which bands and musicians we wanted to see on each day.

Each day would start with breakfast, and packing up for the entire day, and brief discussion on who we wanted to rock. Personally, I was good with any and all bands leading up to the headliner. I just love being around the girl.

One of the first day highlights was our Michael Franti encounter. I remember I had my Nikon D5000 (aka “Nik”) in my hand, and I was visually yet mentally framing / composing photos while waiting for #MusicalMuse to return to me. I recognized Michael from the research I did, as he casually strolled through the crowd around the food vendors. I introduced myself to speak with me and subtly hold him up so #MusicalMuse can meet him.

Sure enough, my plan worked as I took a picture with her and him. She didn’t have anything to autograph much less a Sharpie pen, but she was ecstatic about the chance meeting for the rest of the day. I wonder if she ever thinks about it, or if she kept the photo?

I digress.

Rarely do you remember what people say to you, only that you remember how they made you feel. And for that weekend, with her, I felt the most alive than I had in a long time. And for that, I’m grateful. However, all good things must come to an end, including my relationship with her.

She broke my heart in the summer of 2012, just months before Bumbershoot – so that left me the decision to go on my own or sell my weekend pass, stay home and sulk. It’s not very #keepdigging like, so … I soldiered on as best as I could. I reacted the plans of years past, only running solo this time with heavy heart.

As you can imagine, I met many new people (one of which I still am connected with on FB!), listened to many new bands, enjoyed the music and fun in the sun yet … all with a heavy heart of heartache. My soul couldn’t decide whether I only enjoyed this festival because of the girl or the music. I didn’t take nearly as many photos, create playlists to re-live those tiny moments, or enjoy it as much as I did in years past.

It’ll literally felt as if I was walking through a ghost town, with every corner of Bumbershoot haunted by a memory of happiness. My anxiety level was through the roof despite the smile and liquid medicine. I knew she loved Bumbershoot, so the likelihood of running into her with her new boyfriend and/or her friends was high.

If I did see her, would I engage in conversation?
Would I turn-tail and leave?
What would I say?
What would she say?
Would I lose my shit over the way it went down?

I laughed because she isn’t confrontational just like EVERY OTHER GIRL in the Pacific Northwest. It’s the passive-aggressive nature inherit in all as I’ll find out later in the dating scene. While I would have the maturity to manage a casual, “small talk” conversation, I knew she couldn’t or wouldn’t, so this imagined encounter would never happen.

If she was there, then I never knew. She would definitely navigate around me, and I’m certainly not shy. Partially to give her that opportunity to steer away from me, and somewhat to prove myself I can enjoy this without her.

Petty, I know. But it was the only play I had left: the best revenge on exes is to be happy / happier without them.

Nowadays, and every year since I’m a DJ, MC, entertainer, and all-around good guy for Amore Events & Entertainment LLC so I’m on the lookout for new music, newest trend, etc. This year’s Bumbershoot was no different. I didn’t buy a ticket or even request the time off from the warehouse. That’s my bane of Bumershoot. I won’t go back until I have someone else to rock with and to replace those heartbreak memories with happier ones.

My question(s) to you, Seattle…